


Heavy Thoughts Heavy Feelings

by jaegerxackerman



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Keith, Genderswap, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Jealousy, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, The Blade of Marmora - Freeform, bad at feelings, clone shiro - Freeform, pining lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12811653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaegerxackerman/pseuds/jaegerxackerman
Summary: Keith is permitted to help team Voltron, along with other Blade Members on the ship to guard Lotor. Lance feels very uncomfortable, with already a mix of feelings bringing him down.





	Heavy Thoughts Heavy Feelings

“Take Lotor to his room.” Allura commanded. As two large Blade members took Lotor to his room, which was actually just an empty space. With a lock, and really just a nice prison cell.

 

Lance, Keith, Allura, and the others watched as Lotor was chained. Being taken away down the castle halls.

 

“Thank you for taking me in, Paladins of Voltron. I hope to getting to know all of you, especially you, Keith.” Lotor said, with a mischievous smile.

 

That comment made Lance mad, not the same mad that he was when Matt met Allura. But something different, like he wanted to keep Keith away from Lotor now. That he really wanted to punch the so called “Prince”, in the face.

 

Keith furrowed her brows, and frowned. It had to be his generals that told him, the one her and Hunk had saved from the Weblum. She must have told Lotor, she was half galra.

 

“I really think you should have let us taken Lotor, Shiro.” Keith said, turning to the leader of Voltron.

 

“No, he’s our problem. He should stay on the castle. Where we can keep an eye on him.” He replies back.

 

“But it’s safer, for everyone...” She urged. 

 

“It doesn’t matter now, I’ve talked to Kolivan. He’s allowing some of the Blade Members stay on the Castle, to provide protection Incase anything happens. You, were one of the chosen Keith.”

 

“What?!” Keith and Lance exclaimed in unison. Keith giving Lance a confused look, as Lance quickly turned his attention back to Shiro.

 

“Didn’t you just hear Lotor? He wants Keith, we don’t even know why yet. He’s already got plans, he’s a step ahead of us again.” Lance explained, to Shiro who didn’t seem to move his ground.

 

“No.” Shiro bluntly said to Lance. 

 

Lance hated this, ever since Keith had left them. He was the right hand of Voltron, but Shiro never listened to what he had to say. When he was Keith’s right hand, she always took his words to heart. She heard what he has to say, she took him seriously. Shiro is treating him like a joke.

 

“Keith.” Shiro’s voice broke the silence between the three, as he placed his hand on her shoulder. “I personally asked, Kolivan to assign you as one of Lotor’s guards.”

 

“What?” Lance asked, looking at Keith who shared a look of confusion.

 

“Why me?” She asked, with almost a pleading look.

 

“I want you to earn his trust, interrogate him. Get close to him, and learn whatever you can of his intentions. Whatever you can, of what he has on the Empire. Keith, you have the most important role here. I can only trust you, with it.” He explained, looking at her with a soft look.

 

She sighed, placing her hand over his. “Okay, I’ll stay for however long I need to. I’ll do whatever I can here.” She gave a weak smile. 

 

“Thank you.” Shiro smiled back at her, as he walked away to talk to the others.

 

“You’re really okay with this?” Lance asked, giving a worried look.

 

“Even if I’m not there’s not much i can do...” Keith muttered, under her breath. As she turned away, looking down walking to where the Blade Members left to.

 

Lance quickly followed her through the castle doors, catching up.

 

“So you’re not comfortable with this? If you’re not, you shouldn’t have to do this.” Lance said, as Keith pouted a bit.

 

“I know, I know Lance, just... maybe I can do this. Maybe I can do something useful, and good for you guys....” 

 

Lance was taken back a bit. “What are you talking about?”

 

She stopped in her tracks turning to Lance, crossing her arms. “I couldn’t be a good leader, for Voltron. When Naxela was being destroyed, I tried crashing my ship into the shield to take it down-“ 

 

“What...” Lance felt his throat dry.

 

“-Lotor beat me to it. Nobody needs me. I was the best pilot at the Garrison, and even they kicked me out.” She laughed weakly, letting her arms fall to her side.

 

“I can do this, I know i can.” She stated, walking away leaving Lance alone to his thoughts in the hall.

____ 

Hours later Lance finally had the guts to seek Keith out, and confront her. Did she really think her life, was something she can just throw away? That she can just sacrifice herself, and no one would care? No! That’s not how it is.

 

He went to Lotor’s confinement, seeing that Keith was in her suit, with a galra making small talk. He seemed to have gotten the larger male galra attention first, as Keith followed his eyes to Lance.

 

“Lance? What are you doing here? Is there something wrong?!” She quickly assumes the worst.

 

“What? No. No, no... I just wanted to talk.” He waved his hands, to calm the situation. Giving a soft look at her, and smile.

 

“Oh, okay. Shouldn’t you go to someone like Hunk or Pidge though? I’m not the leader anymore, you don’t have to run things by me.” She folded her hands over each other, almost respectfully. A habit she had picked up, from stay with the other Blade Members, for the past few months. 

 

Lance pouted, and felt his heart and stomach twist a little. They were getting better with their relationship so much more, when she was the leader. The way she talked to him, was almost like they weren’t friends. Which they were, they had reached that point when Lance had felt comfortable expressing his emotions to her. He went to her, and she gave him moral support and was there for him. 

 

They had gotten so much better, they protected each other in fights against the galra. They threw witty banter at each other, no harmful intent. He liked what they had, and now it felt like she was pulling away. He didn’t want that.

 

“Keith, what I mean is... that I want to talk to you in private.” He gave a quick look to the male standing behind her, which she caught quickly.

 

“Oh, Oxtus. I’ll be back, send Gallu to take my place.” She said, as he nodded and was already typing a message down.

 

“Oxtus?” Lance asked, as they walked away. “Weird name.” He comment.

 

“So is Lance.” She defended, with a small smile. 

 

He missed that.

 

They past her old room, she didn’t give it a glance. It was completely empty when she left it, she didn’t take anything with her when left. All Lance found in there was her jacket, on the coat hanger. Which he definitely did not take, and needs to put back.

 

They made it to his room, when he let her in. 

 

“Oh wow, you’ve been busy.” The first thing she noticed was that, there were cables and wires everywhere. With a large tv screen placed on the ground, with a game station.

 

“Oh uhhh, hahahah I kind of forgot about this.” He chuckled, as his face turned red. Ever since Keith left, he hadn’t really cared about his, or his rooms appearance. “I’ll have to clean this up, later.” He said nervously, as he led her to take a seat on his bed.

 

She joined him, after carefully trying not to step on any of the wires, or controllers that lay on the ground.

 

“So what did you want to talk about?” She asked, looking at him curiously.

 

“It’s about what you said, earlier..” 

 

“Oh.”

 

“I talked to Matt..” he heard her tsk, Matt was on the other com the whole time. As she attempted in taking her own life and the shield down. “.... please don’t ever do something like that again.” He pleased.

 

Keith didn’t look at him, she felt disappointed in herself. She didn’t want to make anyone worry for her, she just wanted to protect her friends. She didn’t mean for this. 

 

“I’m sorry, Lance.” She apologizes looking at her hand in her lap. She didn’t know what else to say. She’s never been the one good with words, she’s never had to talk to people before all the universe saving.

 

“Geeez Keith, I don’t want you to apologize!” He exclaimed, feeling frustrated. He had to many emotions inside him at once, they’ve been there for so and now it’s all just building up. It’s like a volcano before it explodes, boiling and getting to its high point.

 

He grabbed Keith’s hand, and took it into his. Using both of his hands, to hold her left one. He looked down at them, and clutched.

 

“I don’t want you to apologize, I want you to promise you won’t leave.... it’s not fair....” h let out a shaky breath. “It’s not fair. Dammit, none of it is fair. From the very beginning, you’ve been leaving me behind!” 

 

That caught Keith’s attention. She had never meant to? But from when? How? She looked down at him, as he stared at her hand. Like there were words written on there, and had to recite them to her.

 

“The Garrison, also wanted was for you to notice me. Acknowledge that I was there, and wanted to be by your side. You were so freaking cool!” He let out a dry laugh. “Then you went on some rebellious spree, I heard you punched Iverson in the eye. And that’s why his right eye, is always squinting at everyone.”

 

Ah, that was her.

 

“Then I find you trying to save Shiro, you don’t even know who I am. That quiznaking hurt. We pick fights with each other, laugh, make fun of each other. I try and be there for you, I want to support you, and I feel like you want to do the same.” She felt his grip on her hand tighten.

 

“But then you leave, you leave again! And it’s just not fair anymore! I thought we were getting closer! But then you automatically, start drifting away from the team. You promise me, you’ll show up for our shows and I believe you, with everything I’ve got. And you never show!” 

 

“I didn’t want you to leave Keith! I was scared! When you were gone and Shiro took black, I was scared of not seeing you again!” 

 

She felt something hot and wet, dripping from Lance’s face. She immediately knows that he’s breaking, and she moves her free hand to brush his hair. “Lance...”

 

“No! Keith listen!” He sniffles rubbing his eyes furiously, pouting. “You don’t just get to clock in, and clock out of someone’s life! I don’t want you to, I want to stay by your side! I want us to protect each other, I want us to talk, and laugh with each other again!” He looked at her with wide eyes, full of determination.

 

She couldn’t help but smile, and felt her eyes tear up a little. This was definitely a love confession, she had only heard about them before. But this, she knew this was one of them.

 

“Keith! I want to keep you safe! I lo-“

 

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, because Keith had already launched herself at him. Giving him one of the strongest hugs, he’s ever had in his life. He could feel her burning her face into his neck, smiling and crying.

 

He felt her shaking, and laughing. He joined in, he was so scared for her. For himself, they were just teenagers that a lion brought into space. Bestowing them with the duty defend the universe, at all costs. 

 

But they had each other, Keith was one of the best things that followed him from home. Lance was one of the few people, that hadn’t abandoned her. 

 

“Lance...” She sniffled, pulling away. “.... I feel the same.” She smiled, with blush on her cheeks and nose slightly red. 

 

He felt his heart skip a beat, as he did the one of the most impulsive things he could’ve. Connecting their lips together, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

 

“Lance..” Keith muttered, as they parted for a breath of air.

 

“What?” He asked looking directly at her.

 

“Don’t leave my side, you’re the only sharpshooter I know.” She couldn’t hold in her laugh, at the snarky remarks. She felt his arms wrap around her tighter, as he rolled them over.

 

“Deal, only because you’re the only samurai, I know.” He smiled, getting a small shove from Keith. Yet. there they were, kissing and continuing to smile at each other unable to hold it back by each other’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> Just another fem Keith fic, because I need to put genderbend Keith on blast. I love it tbh, srry don’t hate me for it please. Also I’m sure Lotor will be apart of Team Voltron in season 5, I bet 20 bucks.


End file.
